I do think, though, that the guilt buttons he will try to push are about current every day stuff. Like the other day he was moaning about how tired he was. In the past I would have given him sympathy, etc. This time I said "I'm sure you are with all the late nights you choose. I don't know how anyone could function like that." He didn't say much.... lol.
Try not to get into fight-picking/escalation. Keep things neutral, like "I agree -- this has been very hard on all of us." or "I agree, these are challenging times."
