I know this is not what you were wanting or expecting. However, at this point, it sounds to me like he is feeling pressure from somewhere to take some sort of action. Of course, it really is internal pressure from himself, and that is something you need to remember. He would be feeling this if you had sat in a corner and not moved like a houseplant for the last year. These are his feelings.
He will try to make you feel like this is your fault. It is not. You know that by now.
We come into this knowing there are no guarantees…
Your plan sounds like a good one. Know that this may be what he needs to begin to move along through his fog.
My suggestion to you, would be to try to find whatever positive you can out of this.
It won’t come quickly, it won’t be easy, but you will do it.
Right now, what you are feeling is all fear. I used to have that as well. Fear that my H would come home and tell me he was walking out the door, even though we were already separated in the same house, I still was terrified of that. It kept me really stuck for a long time. When I was able to finally get past that fear, when I looked at myself and realized that even though he was physically present, I still had been doing this on my own for a really long time, I was able to become less afraid. Then I was able to begin taking steps for me.
You are a very strong woman, who already does the raising of kids, maintaining of the house on your own simply because your H travels. So just know now, have faith in yourself that you can keep going on.
You can do this, and you can continue your life and your stand if you choose, while he is moving along his own path. Even a divorce doesn’t always mean the end of this road…
((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
