Tough question. In my case, I will never tell my girls that my W is a bad person. I try to boost her in their eyes by talking about my faults. The other day my D10 was giving me some advice and I wasn't really listening. Then I thought about it and said to her, you are right. That is good advice. That was one of daddy's problems with mommy. She'd try to tell me something but I've always been too smart for my own good and I wouldn't listen.
Of course, as my daughters grow and wonder why they couldn't do this or go there because of the limitations of D they will ask their own questions and come up with their own answers.
If my W follows through, files for D and sees it to conclusion I'm not sure how -- right now -- I'll ever be able to forgive her. I understand now why we are separated. Through a marriage class I've seen the mistakes I made that contributed to the wall she was building right before my blind eyes.
But she knows I realize these things and I apologized for them during a series of letters in the class this summer.
Still, she continues on seeing if the grass is greener with no consideration of counseling or anything that could lead us back to reconciliation.
So in that definition, not giving me a second chance after 13 years of imperfect by dedicated marriage, she is a bad person.
But what about me? I haven't learned how to respect her choice and forgive? That makes me a bad person too?
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
