Stepping out and Stepping UP!

[ClingingToHope]

Two things about that book that I'm thinking about today.

Eventually the wife just said to the Lord -- or herself depending on whether you believe you can talk to God -- is that if her ex-husband NEVER opened up to reconciling she was OK with that. She would wait.

Wow. I don't know if I could close that door. Of course, she had several relationships during and after the marriage so she'd played the field and decided it was no fun.

I've never wanted anyone but W. Well not entirely. I've looked. I had a coworker that sat next to me early in our marriage who I actually dreamed about on occasion -- 20s lust. But I never acted on it and she's long gone. And sad to say, when things were toughest I looked at online images and W found out -- but I can honestly say that I still physically pine for my ex.

The second thing is that -- maybe it's in the book or I saw it here on the forums -- is that God is always working. Now that I have my own apartment, my W does have lots of alone time and I have some ideas what's going on in her head but no guarantees that they will lead her back to me.

I see clues that I can build scenarios in my head for both ways -- both back together or for us apart permanently.