When you refuse/postpone to clear the situation with her, it makes me feel like my emotions dont matter and I get disappointed and discouraged not to mention worried you are leaving the door open on purpose.
Good start, Kalni!
Pick what you feel strongest about in each segment:
When you avoid cutting all ties with her
I feel disappointed and discouraged Or maybe resentment, afraid
That you are not dedicated to making this work.
I'd always have to write it out first so that I KNEW precisely what MY specific concerns were, not just my emotions.
Little things always tweak me. A signature line for example. If you're done then why go through this? It's not your job to decide if he's done. You can only deal with where you are in this moment. The current signature line:
Me&H:38 Married 8 years, Together 13 2 kids, S7&D6 Bomb 5/2007, Sep: 11/2007 H wants back Oct 08- Nov 08 fake reconcil begins... Aug 09 I find out everything...: 3,5 years of lies Guess who's done?
smacks of anger, betrayal and resentment. In this you're the victim. Reread what's written and see if this is how you truly feel, edit it if need be. If it remains the same, perhaps you are not "there yet"
As far as the gift goes. Does your spouse have a sense of humor? How about a Rolex watch that's just your size? A simple lesson reflecting your frustration and resolution of the problem.
You're an incredible woman. You know what you need, fear and believe. In the end whatever happens will be what you decide is right while doing the WORK.
