Regarding saving the MR, my W at this point would have to do A LOT of changing herself for that to even be a possibility. I don't see my W cleaning up her act anytime soon though. That would require accepting PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY along with HARD WORK which according to her, perfect Rs (i.e. her and OM) should not require.
BJ - You would NOT believe how many times I have heard "it shouldn't be this hard" when discussing MR. All of her divorced friends say the same thing (no wonder...).
And of course, personal accountability should be avoided at all costs as that might make it seem as if one had made a bad decision. And we ALL know any decisions made purely based on how you are feeling can't be wrong...
We are both meeting with D lawyers this week, and like you seem to have already done, I am beginning to think it's time to just cut her loose and let her live with her choices...
Oh, and one more song to add to the mix: "Your Time is Gonna Come" by Led Zepplin. Fits nicely....
Me 47 W 44 D16, D13 T 23yrs M 20yrs WAW/MLC + Male EA "BFF from H.S." = Misery
along with HARD WORK 
which according to her, perfect Rs (i.e. her and OM) should not require. 
