Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

Women apparently like men who are unavailable to them - I'm far too available and broadcast it at every available opportunity.

As in the great words of PDT......BINGO!

The problem is ... I KNOW THIS STUFF! Everytime she is event DUE to come around everything I know about her, the situation, WAS, A's all goes right out the window and I become the pathetic, needy, pursuing wimp again.

interested in you and what you are doing.....if you are a bit mysterous instead of blabbing everything.

I think this is part of the problem even while she is still spending time with my D. I seem to tell her everything that is going on in my life!

logical....but it is not what works with a WAW. A WAW wants what she can't have so easily. Stop being easy and available to her.

Without cutting contact I'm not sure how to stop being easily available. We haven't got much contact anyway, other than for my D / her step-D so there isn't too much to not be available for.

Also as an update, and I'll explain why I'm mentioning this at the end.

I spoke to the guy who runs the car garage at the end of my street and told him that if my W came in then any bills need to go to her new address. My W and her OM were in on Wednesday during the day and the garage guy said that my W was flirting and trying to be 'around' the OM, but the OM just wasn't interested. He said he just didn't seem happy. He also said the OM actually was in yesterday for his own car and again he just didn't have a happy demeanour. He's also still smoking (my W is allergic to smoke) and that he didn't think it would last and would I take her back. He also told me that his partner (my W and his partner are friends) mentioned another reason why we split which he immediately dismissed as it was just inplausible - so that's the 6th (I know they rewrite the marital history).

The reason I mention this is that in my emotional state of yesterday I latched onto this. What I have been doing, very successfully up until now is dismissing everything I am being told and actually telling people not to tell me things. I also came out of my unhappy emotional state. So it seems my happiness is actually dependent on her / OM's unhappiness. Not good.

I've now almost dismissed what has been said by the garage owner as I'm starting to feel better about the sitch again. But it's just more evidence to me that I feel great when there is NC but fall apart in every single way when she is due or is here and for a day or so afterwards.

I may write a lot here and waver but I feel this is a safe place for me to try and get my feelings out and hopefully understand them. While I do backtrack a lot, I am beginning to recognise when it happens a lot easier.

I was planning on going LRT after the separation agreement is signed (I felt that if I did it beforehand she may just decide to screw me financially - at the moment she says she will just sign it as is - she has her stuff, I have mine). Advice / comments?