Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Just journaling. D10 was finally healthy enough to go back to swim practice. She wasn't ready when I got there so I had to go in. W asked about the surgery. She didn't realize I was having the tooth implant. So we talked about that for a bit. Pleasant short talk.

Sat through D10's swim practice. She is waaaaaaayyyyyy behind. But she loves it. I dropped her off. W called. She asked me to come back and get the school fundraiser stuff people at my work bought.

Dog ate one of the gifts so W had to reimburse them. Wrote a check out of her new, single, account.

Handed me the bags. Offered to help carry it. Very polite.

Four months ago I would have seen this as a "baby step." Now I recognize this as her continued efforts to move on and convert me over to a friend.

It won't be until I see excitement in her eyes or real sadness that I'll actually think it's a baby step.

I don't want nights like this. I want to see her as little as possible.