I'm doing ok? How are you doing? Are you both still going to counseling. Ya know, that really suprised me when you said she wanted to go. I know that you don't want to get sucked into the encouraged trap again but it's a good sign. Hope everything is still moving along in that direction.
Things here are still status quo. I am doing the best I can to keep my spirits up and do my own thing. I've been trying hard to detach and just find my own way. It's really hard because so much of me is still so in love with him. But, the fact is that he isn't in love with me and wants to end our marriage. Right now, that's where he's at and I have to try and respect that instead of telling him he's nuts for feeling that way and not giving his feelings validity. I may want what I want but he wants something different and that's ok. I mean, its NOT but I just have to try and let go.
I'm going to therapy, working out, taking care of my daughter, etc. H is being friendly and cheerful and I'm doing the same. The house feels lighter now that I'm not actively engaged in saving the marriage. I'm trying to save myself first and if the marriage comes with it...great. But I have to stop taking the rollercoaster ride. It was making me insane and that's not good for anyone and I need to be there for my daughter. So, right now the focus is on Thanksgiving and cooking for lots of people and a house filled with good smells, good company and my loving family.
I hope the boys are doing ok and got lots of halloween loot. I hope you are doing well too and trying to just stay "up" and not let the mess you're in get to you too much. Just keep on keeping on.
Thanks so much for checkin in on me. It means sooo much.
Oh, yeah, I changed my picture on FB and it's a really great picture of me and I'm getting allll these compliments and my H is seeing it and that makes me feel really good somehow. Silly, I know..but it makes me feel good..I've worked hard and it's sooo paying off.
Big hugs to you {{{Danny}}}
Let me know how you're doing and how goes the battle!!
Gina B
Gina B
M 43 H 34 D 4 H asked for D on 6/21/09:1st D mediation 7/27;D says he wants to try 8/18; *I will stumble, I will fall down but I will not be moved.(N.Grant)
