I understand what you are saying about giving the wrong message to kids that it is acceptable to venture outside of matrimony.
But I also think the kids will come to their own conclusions over time about what happened to their parents marriage. I came to my own conclusions that what my mother and step father did was terribly wrong. My father did not try to tell us how we should feel towards our mother or step father.
There really is not much one could do to control whether our X's expose the kids to the OP post D.
It sounds like you feel it would be best to plant seeds of resentment into the kids minds in how they act and percieve the OP who helped to break apart their family. Please, tell me if I am misinterpreting.
