Thanks for the pointers rob and everyone. Believe me I am taking it to heart. And I know anger in a situation like mine does more harm than good. Thanks for mentioning the WAS attitude again, I keep forgetting about that and need to start wiring myself in that mentallity right now, accept it, be it... do or do not - there is no try...
My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1867595#Post1867595