I have not been calling him or initiating IM's or TM's. I have been polite and helpful. He was out of town and there was a problem with his work credit card, so I had to move some money around online and make sure he could get his hotel room and the company will just reimburse us. He was kind of short with me on the phone - I calmly said "I am trying to do all I can for you, please do not act sh*tty with me." He stopped and I told him the money was transferred and have a good night and ended the conversation. Just now heard from him today through our blackberry IM:
Messages: --------- T: On my way home. Thanks again for helping me yesterday. Sorry if I was being pushy. I was tired and worried about how I was gonna get home, room, etc. I will call the house later on. Hope your day has gone okay.
M: No problem. TTYL. ---------
Hope I am doing this all right. Need to know BIG changes I can start to make.
- I know he is OVER relationship talks - so stopping those completely.
- I know he clams up if offered too much, like "want me to do that for you?" or "what do you want for your birthday" - so I am offering nothing.
- MONEY - biggest issue. Making sure I follow my budget tightly and keep up my good progress there.
- Kids - he hates if I use the kids against him - not doing that at all. BUT - should I offer MORE time with them? Should it be like normal with us all together - or make it more one on one with him and the kids? I have been SO against that in the past - I hate being away from my kids. Would easing up on this help? Should I still allow the time during the week? And me just go work out or something?
- Working on me physically - when we fell in love - I was a HUGE runner. He loved that about me. That is more on an off now. I need to start getting back into it.
- He feels I have belittled him a lot in the past. No more of that. BUT should I make it a point to IM him and say positive things now? Or wait until times present themselves to do it subtly? Want him to feel appreciated, like a good dad, good friend, etc - WITHOUT making it seem like it is all for show and trying to make him not divorce me. I really do think good things about him.
Any advice?
Me - 33 Him - 37 2 Children (D-8, S-5) Married 04/28/01 He Left 12/03/05 Updated Story
