I believe NoCode was referring to me. However, I am not friends with neither my XW or the morally deficient guy who stole my wife. I only interact in a civil manner because it allows for emotion free communication in what is the best interest of the children.
I stand by my statement that holding resentment and distrust towards the OP post D is not going to allow the LBS to move forward fully and happily in their life. Acceptance is crucial to heal.
I understand the emotional level of not wanting the kids to be around the OP that contributed to the breakup of a marriage. My kids soon to be step-dad was my XW's affair partner. And my step-dad was my mothers affair partner (and he was a good friend of my father).
At first my father told my mother that she was to never allow us to be around the other guy. But he realized that he himself would meet a new woman someday who would be around us and it would be hypocritical to deny us to be with our mother and her soon to be husband.
And I was the same when my W was on the fence about our M. She wanted to introduce the kids to the OM to see how that would work out if we got divorced. I told her no freaking way as that sends the kids the wrong message because they know I was standing and hoping for our marriage. She did it anyway and I filed because of the exposure of the physical part of their affair to the kids. The kids for a while were solely in my care. After a bit of time, I realized that what was best for the kids was to spend equal time with a mother and a father and I decided to setup a shared parenting plan. I wanted to resist at first partly because of my emotions, but it was important to push that aside and put the welfare of the kids first.
