No, you are not "in control" of her, but you do have every right to protect yourself, and in fact an OBLIGATION to protect your family.
I'm not suggesting you "spy on her." I'm suggesting that you find out the truth about what's going on, so you can deal with it accordingly.
Puppy
Fair enough will consider how to handle it.
Maybe one more question. She is going to see this mediator today. Anyone have advice on how to handle this tonight.
Talk about it / Listen about it. I did say I was only working on moving so should I say I told you I would discuss this in a month after we have moved?
