Oh yea its not about the numbers but the concept of viewing both sides of what is going on in your mind. It is also a very good exercise on teaching yourself on how to be trueful to yourself. Once you have done this for the hardest thing in your life, try it out on something trivial. It is a very good learning exercise.
My top one for choose is
I choose to be honest to myself.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
After session with counselor last night and brief talk with WAW, I have finally made the decision to completely remove focus from "active dbing".
Being realistic, there is very little hope of busting the second time around. Now, it's more about moving on with life as it is. That does not mean I have entirely given up hope, but may have finally let go of any hope of saving things in the near future.
I will most likely be spending less time here now, and will move over to the "separated" forum on December 1, when that becomes the case. My efforts won't end completely, but it's time to focus on things other than just trying to keep my WAW.
Thanks to all of you who really tried. I know I didn't listen and I know I did a crap job of dbing. But...I think this time, nothing would have helped. As even MWD says, some marriages just can't be saved. My wife had reached a point where she was 100% determined to (at the very least) separate and she has remained steadfast to that decision.
Thanks to the pros: Coach, RobX, Puppy. What you do for people you have never met is inspiring. You are truly good people.
PDT: I pray every day now just for the strength to go on - but I think I should also be praying for all of those here.
Cutter: I am at a crossroads of sort today. I'm not sure what the right thing for me to do is. I think it may be time for me to take a break from "working" at everything. My mind is tired. I have somewhat given up the fight, although not all hope. If I continue to put so much into something, that is over there will be nothing left of me. I'll still be around a bit - so we will be in touch.
Take a break. That is good. Its what you need. Then come back and work on yourself. Perhaps you have finally broken down enough to actually start GAL , Plan A or Plan B....
This can be good for you if your up to it.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Checking in and I have a question for those of you who have followed my situation.
I am having a tough time just getting through each day, but have almost accepted that fact that she will be gone soon. I don't really hide my sadness when I see my WAW, but I also don't let her see me in a mess. Even though, I know it's all but over, even just seeing her for a few minutes calms me. I need to be prepared to not have that and am working on that. We are at a new phase and I am learning to live within in. It's the toughest thing I have ever done, but I am doing it.
Tomorrow is our 17th Anniversary. I have to work during the day and have made plans to spend the night out with co-workers/friends to help get through it.
The question is: should I recognize the day in any way? I was thinking a non-anniversary card with a simple comment in it.
Please let me know what you think - and any ideas of what to write that would let my WAW know I am thinking of her, but won't make her feel bad or seem in any way pusuing.
Write her a beautiful card. Spill your guts out. Release it all.
Then take that card and burn it.
When you go out. Dress up. Still celebrate your wedding. Enjoy the night. Maybe even do some dancing.
Also do not have any pints or anything else this weekend. Depression and booze do not mix.
And if you really need to. Have a second card. Just says happy ann and your full name. Leave it at that. But keep it tucked away in your briefcase or what ever you carry around for work.
That way if she gives you a card you can give her a card as well.
Nothing more. No R talk. Just be calm.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
No need for the spill my guts card. I have a journal for that. I will write in it, what I would have written in a card if things were "normal".
Going out with some guys for work - so not likely to dress up too much and definitely no dancing!
I told the guys to get me drunk enough to relax and be able to go home and lie next to me WAW - although I suspect she won't spend the night at home. I will not get drunk enough to say or do things I will regret.
I alredy planned to only give her a card if she gives me one first. I still think anything with "Anniverary" on it, is a bad idea.
I have finally stopped all R talk. Some talk regarding logistics of her move out, but only what is required. I am almost at the point of accepting that actual separation is the next phase and will be here in a matter of days.
I had a very tough day yesterday, and just seeing my WAW last night calmed me down. Soon, I won't have that, and I will deal with that when it comes. I do all I can to not let her know the pain I am in.
