I'm so sorry. This is why I always try to get people who are reconciling -- BSs -- to decide AHEAD of time, in a calm moment of clarity -- what they are willing to put up with in terms of backsliding from their wayward spouse. One strike, self-confessed? One strike even if I have to find it out, but so long as she answers truthfully when confronted? Two strikes? Zero strikes?? What??
Because when it happens, you are a whirlwind of emotions.
For me, it was "One strike, self-confessed," which -- interestingly -- is EXACTLY what I got from my wife. One backslide, about two weeks into our supposed reconciliation, and she came to me in tears and full of remorse.
Look, I haven't steered you wrong yet, right? I mean, who was the one who asked the question to you on 10/23, when everyone else was slapping you on the back? So listen to what I'm about to say . . .
DON'T DO ANYTHING JUST NOW. Don't even do anything in the next 24-48 hours. Take the weekend maybe. Meditate. Pray. Ask for some wise counsel from a few CLOSE trusted friends or family members or a pastor or priest.
What you have going for you is that she doesn't know that you know. I know, I know, you've got that whole male "God, I'm such a SAP!" thing going on in your head. Been there, done that, bought the souvies. But YOU are making a conscious choice to NOT DO ANYTHING for a few days. YOU are in control.
And, I hate to say it, but it would be wise to use this time -- 72 hours or a week or two or whatever -- to gather some final evidence.
Your wife is addicted, MTN. Try to remember that. And pray for wisdom, and discernment.
