I just wanted to let you know that my transfer went through twice this month, so I transferred $xxx.xx, back into my account. You'll see the in and out, but I wanted to offer an explanation.
There are several things we need to discuss. Please let me know if/when you're available. Maybe some time the week of Nov. 16?
I hope things are well with you.
WAS
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
The items we need to discuss are as follows. 1. seperation papers to be signed and witnessed 2. date to sell house.
I have been sitting on both. As per written before in my stitch. She wants to do this she does the leg work.
As also mentioned before I have been living a very dark life towards the WAS. If you need to revisit that please read the last few pages.
Now I know that WAS thinks I am dating or at least getting out there now and testing the waters.
I also know that I am in no rush to sign papers nor sell the house until the spring.
My goals of busting the divorce and ending the affair are still on going.
I was wondering if I could have some advice here. From those who I have interacted with and from those with experience here.
I see that I have 4 choices here.
1. Ignore. 2. Contact via email 3. Contact via phone 4. Contact via face to face.
The week of Nov 16th will be 2 months since Plan B kicked in. Where I only contacted once. Which was that I had a buddy and dog staying here.
I really do not know if this is the time to step out from Plan B.
I know I can continue with the ignore.
I do not know if I can do a face to face. Its been along time between seeing each other. But it would be a good test to see how far I have came. But it could also knock me back a few steps.
A phone call would also be the first conversation in a long time as well. A few weeks.
I am undecided on what path I will choose here but would really like some advice here.
My boundaries would be no R talk. Keep it to business and validate if any thing else comes up.
I will be taking her sister to the hospital on monday and spending the day with her so any reply, if any will occur next week some time after that. As no doubt WAS sister is going to prod me for the day on what I have been doing and how I feel. Sisters will be sisters afterall.
Thanks in advance here for your suggestions.
I am going back to my cold and planning out a dinner for a few friends for tomorrow night. And maybe a good run today.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Just read through your whole sitch. Great job so far.
When I went dark I did still respond to financial issues. It appears this is what she wants to discuss. You cannot continue to ignore these things as they will affect your future no matter what the outcome.
I would respond via email, that way you can keep the contact strictly business. Handle whatever you can via email but agree to meet in person if necessary. Set up a time that works for you.
And for heaven's sake, be careful about exercising if you're sick! Don't want you to prolong the illness. Rule of thumb: if symptoms are above your neck then ok, but below the neck you should just rest and concentrate on getting better.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
The other two choices would not be in my vocabulary until SHE either called me or ASKED me to call.
My top choice is # 1 (ignore) and here is my reasoning...
The thing that I have observed over the years is that one of the most effective ways to get a woman back seems to be when you leave them curious to why you didn't call them or return their call or email them after they emailed you first.
I am only talking about ignoring this for this one initial email. Since you have done such a marvelous job of leaving her alone (which was fabulous) she could be putting out "feelers" because she is starting to question her decision. Giving her this time by staying away is an excellent move because it gives BOTH people a sometimes well needed breather. During this time I would guess that she has secretly gone back and forth over and over if she really is doing the right thing. She may be wondering if she has lost you. The key is that she HAS to be wondering. Let her fill in the blanks to what you are up to.
Now. IF she is still determined and just wants to get this over with and nail down some final details, then again, ignoring is not going to hurt you in the least.
My guess is that if you ignore this one time, that she will contact you again and ask you if you got her last email. This would give you the opening to tell her "yes, I got it, but I have been busy and haven't had time to get together" (or any one of a number of reasons that show her how busy you have been and how much you are letting her go. (which again is the key to them coming back.. them feeling that you have let go)
The second option...
Email her back. Answer her questions and tell her what is good for you. This option won't hurt you, so don't think just because I favor option 1 that this option would be "wrong"...
Moral of the story.. Strong, confident men are attractive to women. A strong confident man is decisive. Be stong and confident, decide what you are going to do and execute.
As you get stronger. (and you are doing GREAT) you need to get to the point where you don't have to ask us what you should do, but you just do it because you know you are secure.
Remember.. No pressure. Be nice. Be confident. Be mysterious. Be decisive. Let her see a busy man going somewhere with his live. A happy man that is busy is very attractive to women..
I never took the time to tell you what a great job you did when your relationship was saved. You are an excellent example of someone that was showing strength and yet sometimes inside feeling weakness. It was great to see you do what was necessary.
