That may have been a problem. My W and I met a handful of times since that meeting and have had a few phone calls, one of which lasted 1.5 hours and she expressed worries that some of our issues were too big to deal with, ie. she has been saying that she doesn't want to have children unless by adoption and I do (despite having always said she did want a full family with me, until dropping the bomb on me this summer). In that conversation we spoke about taking things one day at a time and being the best individuals we can be so that we can have the healthiest marriage possible and it ended with a big, "I'm so glad we spoke, I'm glad you listened, and I feel much better now."
The last time we met was last Friday and without me bringing it up, my W referenced my parents visiting from the East Coast and how she'd like to cook a full out Thanksgiving dinner for them, but she'd be calling my mother a bunch ahead of time to perfect some recipes, etc! Things sure felt better in many ways.
Still, something felt off to me. I had difficulty getting a phone conversation with her on the weekends or outside of work hours, for example. Finally the other day I decided to trust myself and logged on to our cell phone account and checked the history of calls. SOB! She never cut contact with the OM!
Unless some HUGE-- and I mean HUGE (like God coming down from the clouds in a visible form and having a chat with me)-- thing goes down, I am going to file for divorce. To me, this was the third strike. First was the affair, then she came clean but continued the affair after. Then she told our IC/MC that she wanted to work on fixing things and gave her word that she cut the OM out and yet even the night that we met for MC she was speaking with him on the phone right after the meeting! She still hasn't gone a day without contact with him and I have to presume that there's been continued physical meetings as well. I deserve better.
This is really rough because there's a lot of financial security that is starting for the first time in our lives, as she just started working for the first time as an RN and we've been students for years now, working on minimal income before that and suddenly she's making more money than we did when we were both working full time before grad-school and I'm still a student, etc. Not even sure how I'll afford to get a divorce unless we do it ourselves... I'm about to head into dark waters and its scary as hell.
