As far as that putative "testing" stuff goes, isn't that understood to be mostly unconscious on the woman's part? I don't see the relevance, anyhow. Statements along the lines of "you're worthless" etc aren't testing, they're just straight-ahead bitchy and destructive. If it was a man saying that stuff, no doubt the "abusive" card would be played early and often. For some behaviors, there is simply no excuse.
Yes it is subconscious but don't think that it won't affect your conscious way of thinking, that it won't steer you into performing a specific way, it will.
That line of "you're worthless", it's horrible & abusive, I will agree with that but it's still testing. That lady has crossed so many boundaries with SP and even though he's gained back alot of ground and then some, don't expect her to stop - if you're expecting for the testing to stop, that's naive - it won't. If it's subconscious behavior, the only thing you can do to control that "testing" is to change the pattern of behavior at your end that responds to her testing. You can either view it as a test and smile and reply accordingly because you know it's a test and that in the end it's just a reflection of how insecure she really is, regardless if she admits it or not. Respond confidently and let her know you're not putting up with her crap behavior and repeat that on a regular basis when the devil in her comes out, she will know that he's ready for the tests, she will gain some security in that knowledge and the testing will actually subside a bit. However, respond angrily or emotionally, show that you are hurt because she says something so evil and she knows that you're insecure about yourself, she smells blood at that point and the boundaries will continue to be pushed, the testing will continue.
You want the tests to end, realize that they are tests, use that knowledge to your advantage, smile & pass the tests. It could be that the tests continue because you keep failing them in one way or another.
