Moments like that make me even more angry at W for giving up on our family. So selfish.
I understand why you would feel this way.
But.
If that's the feeling you are wearing on your sleeve, you are shooting anything else you are doing squarely in the foot.
I'm not saying the WAs are right. But, from their point of view, they don't have have choice. It isn't easy for them. They feel, for whatever reason, thay they've been backed into a corner, and that they have had their lives taken from them. Do you think these parents want to leave their kids? (OK, some of them do, but I think they are the minority.) Do you think they want to hurt their kids? They don't want to do this, largely. They are hurting. They don't show it the same way, but I'm sure it's true.
There's no question that they could make better choices. But dwelling on what they are doing, playing the blame game, isn't going to get you anywhere. On top of all that, I am pretty sure the kids pick up on it, too. So, on top of everything else, you are having a negative impact on their relationship with their other parent.
It's not just you, etrain, I've been getting this vibe from several posters lately. The pity party, woe is me, it's their fault thing isn't DBing, and it isn't going to make you happy, or save your marriage.
