She asked me if I had talked to my sponsor lately and I said yes. She asked if I went to see him I said no he is on vacation but I emailed him. She asked what he said about the situation and I told her it's probably best not to talk about it because she won't like my answer. She pushed so I told her he said to file for divorce and custody of the children tomorrow.
Hey, I just got an idea, 'Nads (btw, LOVE the username ) If nothing else, it will help you separate her "genuine concern" from maybe her b.s.:
Why not make an offer of "mutual transparency" with her? You know, you will be transparent with her, but she needs to be transparent with you? Exchange daily schedules, usernames/passwords for any chat or e-mail accounts, cellphones, etc.? If she asks you why, say "I dunno, you seem like you might be genuinely concerned I might be drinking again, and I want to reassure you. Besides, AA teaches 'accountability,' so this seems like it would be a good accountability system for me. And I would feel better about it if it were mutual. To be honest, I'm more than a little concerned about you, too."
If she asks you why, just say "Because, I am. I love you, you're my wife, and c'mon, let's be honest -- we have enough baggage between the two of us for BOTH of us to be justifiably concerned, don't we? So how 'bout it?"
And see what she says.
My bet is that she won't touch it with a 10-foot pole, and will, in fact, get very angry and accusatory with you.
) If nothing else, it will help you separate her "genuine concern" from maybe her b.s.:
