If your wife is going to continue to exhibit this behavior and use the fact that you love and care about her to control you and treat you as a cuckold, then there is nothing wrong stepping forward and taking the control and power over in this relationship.
"do you mind if i sleep with him?"
My response would have been: Get out of my house, that is the most disrespectful thing anyone has ever said to me. Would you like it if I was sleeping with the girl from marketing, the neighbor, your sister? Get out, I am done. We should get divorced. You have no respect nor common sense. This isn't going to work out.
Too late to say that. But if you dont act now. You will most likely be finding condoms in the glove box or soild panties stuffed in the bottom of the clothes hamper. She not only tested you she made it clear what her intentions are.
Now: I would tell her calmly that you do not approve of her meeting/hanging out/visting this guy. It is inappropriate and is only going to cause more problems in our relationship.
And if she does go see him after discussing that with her. Very calmly, and carefully package all her belongings into u-haul boxes and leave them in the garage for her. That will be a loud and clear message that you are unwilling to share your wife with another man.
