K, so I need some clarification. I have read DB and the whole holding off the "R" talk. Does anybody have any proven success at this? I'm completely just needing some honest clarification on this. I understand it is part of the process, but I just don't quite understand why? And if it works? thanks to anybody that can clarify this for me!
Trying to initiate R talk would be considered pursuit; you are pushing them to make some kind of decision or commitment.
Example: One time, I tried to bring up "where to we go from here?" -- meaning, are we going to try to work things out? -- and my wife replied with "I guess I'll figure out how to file for D." What she meant was, she was going to look into what it takes to file. I took it completely differently, as in she was GOING to file. That was a rough day for both of us.
If you succeed at DB'ing, at some point your spouse should take a look at the R and tell you "I think I want to try to make this work".
Of course, if you get stuck in limbo or your spouse is cake-eating, you may need to turn into a WAS and drop your own bomb. Hopefully, they are interested enough in the R again to pursue you. (And we know that becoming the WAS works, because isn't that how they got our attention?)
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
