Quick update. Been away for a day or so from the boards. I think I needed the break and it gave me time to think.
Had a discussion with W on a couple of issues - not a R talk - but a discussion to understand some of her feelings. The result of that discussion is that W has now agreed to go to MC. I was shocked she agreed to this as she has steadfastly said she would not see a C or MC for the purposes of reconciliation. And while I'm pleased, I don't feel any differently about the prospects of things working out. Maybe they will, maybe they won't.
What I DO know is that W's decision to see a MC IS a change in the status quo. And, even as important, if not more so, MC cannot hurt - I'm already dead, so how can I be "deader" by engaging in MC.
Although I am pleased with these developments, I am a bit nervous when I consider what MC will entail. I suspect there is still a lot of pain, resentment and anger in both W and I that has not yet been uncovered. But, at least there is some emotion there. And, if we stand any chance of working through our issues, we have to get this stuff on the table, as painful as it may be.
And, while I am nervous, I AM NOT AFRAID anymore. I CAN HANDLE IT. And, I WILL.
