R2C, after being separated for a year, my stbxH requested to reconcile. It was not a coincidence that I had just dropped the rope and fell in love with another man (a Prince). I decided to give it a try and started MC, sleep overs (no sex) etc. Things didnt improve and all along I felt something was off.
My darling stbxh, had never admitted there was another woman although I suspected a specific one since May 2007.
Fast forward to August 2009. After almost a year of stress and frustration I tell him that on August 25th, I will decide for MYSELF if I want to go on or not with that lukewarm R that was no M, no friendship, and far from what I wished for my life.
The day before I leave on vacation with the kids, Goddess AThina decided t wasmy time to find out the truth and my keylogger worked and I got access to his email account, his secret email account and OW's account.
I found out they had been seeing each other since August 2006!!!!! Of course that alone explained why our R was non existent for so long and it wasnt because I was a bitch as he was telling me.
I find out that she had an abortion, has met my son, had gone to trips with him, an endless list of lies was revealed, and... a lot of things were explained.
2009, he was going back and forth between us. He was having sex with her and that's why he never did with me. Their relationship was on and off for almost 1,5 years. 6 months after he moved out, the thrill was gone or at least fading... for him. As the emails showed she was desperate begging him to recapture the loving feelings they had...
When I find out, I go crazy. He shows remorse and stays away from me as I asked him to. Our friends and families find out the truth and he apologises to my parents.
I prepare the agreement and sent it to him and he stalls. When I ask and ask why, he comes back with a "I am relieved you know everything now, I couldnt live anymore with the lies, I couldnt tell you the truth either, she is gone, she now means nothing to me, I told her it is over, if we have ONE chance, please reconsider".
And to make a long story short, I have entered the pre-piecing stage. Together with me, anger and resentment entered too, hurt, disbelief, mistrust, pain...
That's where we are. We are trying to find ways to deal with what has happened and see where it will lead us. K
