Touching on the topic of "you never get it right" etc. I recall feeling that general topics were discussed and agreements had been made and then H's actions exhibited what I perceived as a complete lack of thought or acknowledgement of such discussions and agreements.
Meaning that perhaps the general communications aren't specific enough to extend to the related circumstances.
For example, I expected that if we discussed not allowing the kids to see R rated movies, that covered all R rated movies when in reality, I guess they needed to be assessed one at a time...
I don't know if I'm making sense here. My point is that women often express not feeling heard; I think it is because we expect our sentiments to penetrate deeply enough to impact future actions...but often they don't. And guys often express "WTF? How was I supposed to know." And she responds, "well, I told you!" (just not specifically or clearly enough)
