It is incredible how we are what we act or act what we are huh?
I still slip here and there sometimes, but as a whole Im a very positive person anyways so it's easier to get back on track
As for boundaries and Rui, or Rui and is (lack of) boundaries, we're working on it. I think we're making some progress but it's one of those things that are difficult to know if it's working or not. I sure hope it is though. DOn't think I'll be able to go through anything else in this lifetime !!! But i just learned a few things about boundaries myself. Just posted about it.
ANyway, glad to know that there's some chinese food and a movie in the way , that always lifts my spirits :) Going back to read more posts LOL Hugs nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
Sorry to hijack the conversation guys but there is a new girl in Newcomers that just found out her H is having an A. Check her thread, please. She needs some support.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
I started by not even in my mind accept that my marriage was over.
I did change my attitude a lot - in relation to the time I found about the affair. ANd changed what I was doing at home as well. First rule I made to myself was not too push anything. I found out early into the situation that it didn't take me anywhere and actually ended up leading him to find comfort and peace with the ow. I did make an effort to appear calm and relaxed but firm in my belief that the marriage was not over. I made sure I was taking care of only one thing at a time, and bit my tongue before even hinting at my opinion about the affair or the ow. I got a new haircut - something I actually wanted to do for sometime - , talked calmly and started having an urge to go to the WC everytime I could see there was an argument coming. BEtter know as the "remove yourself from the potential problem" . I let him feel that he was important to me - while making sure I was not clingy. I made sure I created a relaxed time when we were together and timed as best as I could our conversations about our relationship. Eventually he remembered he actually enjoyed talking to me. And we had great talks which helped us to reconnect. Talks that had nothing to do with the affair. Did I manipulate? well a bit..I guess. I did know him much better than anyone, ow included. But hey, I needed some aces up my sleeve. I actually let the ow dig her own grave, even helped her a bit - for example he hates it when people keep calling him for every simply thing. Well when she contacted me, I let the fact that he wanted to always be in control and needed to know everything we were doing and liked to be asked about every single thing. She felt so smart for dragging that bit of information from me, that I didn't "have the heart" to tell her that if she did it, she would be irritating him to no end. I actually felt I cold help her even more, so on top of all the pagings she was sending him, I send a few myself - leaving her phone number of course :):) It was actually funny hearing some of the back and forth voice messages:beeep "WHy do you keep pagging me?" " I just wanted to know if you wanted white or red wine for dinner..." "what the *&^%& do I care, anything"beep"why did you page me again?" "I didn't" " your number showed here."beep "more pagings???? what do you want????""I didn't page you.. I swear" " Yeah right.. next thing you tell me that the pager is beeping by it's own accord" beep.... "stop paging me" "I didn't. I didn't!!!! " LOL He was so feed up he gave me the pager! ANyway, maybe I"m not exactly answering you question. If there's something specific that you want to know that I found out worked for me, just ask me. Hugs nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
Went to see "Kill Bill" last night...not MY favourite Tarrantino movie, but CJ liked it. Excellent cinematography and interesting editing, but a bit thin on story for my liking.
Today I spent a couple hours at SIL's hair shop...I get to be her model for her Masters in Hair Colouring next Sunday!!!! (26th).
I'm so excited! It's about $200-$300 worth of cut and colouring for free!
And it's a competition...I show up without make-up and my hair as bad as it can look (maybe no conditioner??? ) and they work their miracle on me.
Have to bring my makeup for the finished look...I swear it's going to be dramatic as I rather look like a patient on the edge of death without make up!
I even picked the 4 different shades that she's going to use...she was mightily impressed...I reminded her that I AM an artist and DO have an eye for colour!
Feeling a bit "up" right now...could it be the 3 cups of coffee and no breakfast yet (it's 4 p.m. here).
I don't know that I'd call myself an "artist" although I've loved to draw and paint since childhood and do have talent. (I do mostly portraits, some still life's)...to ME an "artist" is someone who actually DOES ART on a full time basis, or at least more consistently than I do!
Yes there will be before and after pics...just picking out what to wear..
Got lots of work done today (lectures and such). Found out from my T.A. that one of my class averages was in the low 50's on my midterm!
Not sure what's up there...that's about 10% lower than normal. I'll have to check the item analyses to see if the questions were poor (not likely!) or the students just not up to snuff this year.
This IS the first year in Canada that they've gotten rid of what was essentially 13th grade, a University level track. So my large classes are due in part to this "double cohort" and perhaps the younger kids aren't quite as prepared as they thought?
We'll see.
CJ's working hard on a project for school...got to help him out some with some statistical stuff (Yeah, I've taught the dreaded stats course too).
Figure I'll post until dinner settles, do some yoga and weights and then hop in the tub for some meditation.
Have been wanting to see "Kill Bill" myself...maybe the story line left you a little flat because it is only the first installment of a 2 part movie?? I think the next one is due out after the first of the year? I'm a big Tarantino fan...hope I'm not too disappointed
I envy you getting that kind of work done to your hair. My hair tends to be my biggest vanity...and my biggest pain in the butt (besides H...LOL!). I'm terrified of letting other people mess with it though (been screwed up too many times) so I usually cut and color it myself. It helps to save money too that way...lol. One of my goals was to get over this hang-up so I have been changing it a little bit at a time.
I don't think a person with talent should sell themselves short by not saying they are an artist...note, the key word here is TALENT (I've known a few too many people who call themselves artists who don't have the talent my WESTIE does!) I refer too myself more often as an ARTIST then a POET even though I wrote a heckuva lot more. I usually only sell one or two drawings a year. I have a BIG colored pencil piece I'm working on right now that will probably take me 6 mos. to finish...thank goodness the person who wants it has a lot of patience!!
I think it is cool that you help out CJ...did I miss something though? Is CJ a teacher as well?
Looks like ya'all had a good weekend...hope the week is even better! TTFN Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
) and they work their miracle on me.
I refer too myself more often as an ARTIST then a POET even though I wrote a heckuva lot more. I usually only sell one or two drawings a year. I have a BIG colored pencil piece I'm working on right now that will probably take me 6 mos. to finish...thank goodness the person who wants it has a lot of patience!!