Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

Well. I have to say that was kind of hard to read. Because honestly, it is 100% true. Robx, as blunt as you are, you are right. I really appreciate your advice because it made me look at this whole situation in a different light.

[...]

I just get somewhat concerned that it isn't him actually coming around, its just a preview of the rest of our lives. Us continuing to live like this and being great friends, and civil in our sitch.

That is a very genuine fear. I worry the same thing at times -- to me, if we're not making progress, it feels like we're backsliding. Or that we're going to end up "just friends" for the rest of our lives.

And maybe at some point, you will have grown to the point where this half-relationship is not enough for you, then you get to drop the bomb and be the WAS. And he'll end up pursuing you.

Thanks again everybody. Sometimes I just need some real, honest truth. It put me in a new place.

Honestly, britt? I get just as frustrated and impatient as you.

I want to be able to take my wife in my arms the way I used to. I want to be able to crawl into bed at the end of the day and put my arms around her, the way I did for almost 9 years of my life. I want to show her how much she means to me, and that when she decides to give me another chance, I will do my best to make sure our relationship never ends up here again.

(Instead of venting on here, I have a really good friend who takes the time when I need it to pat me on the head and remind me that this is going to take time.)

But around my wife? I smile and am as happy and affectionate as she'll let me be. I go out and do things.

Hopefully as she gets her strength back from the surgery, she will look at where we are and decide to work on things with me.