Hope and heartache

[Laurie]

Dear Clinging,
As a licensed counselor, I have had many appointments with clients at night. So, can I caution you to be careful what you assume - especially if it leads you to thinking negative thoughts that could lead you to act or talk a bit more negatively to your W?

Clinging, I do think it can be helpful to think through and prepare for potential painful scenerios (such as, your W telling you she visited a lawyer). Thinking it through can help you figure out how to respond in a way that offers the most hope for the M. But, my concern is that your thoughts tonight could lead you to getting more and more upset, then possibly cause you to say or do something you really regret later.

So, as I have just finished with my own coaching client not too long ago, I ask you to take a deep breath, prepare for the worst, but "act as if" she just got done talking to her counselor, OK? She may have really just done that. Either way, your decision to remain calm will tend to do much less harm than if you react to her in a negative way.

Take care and keep fighting for your marriage! I am glad you are here getting support!!
Laurie