WAW + MLC + Male BFF + "Just Friends" = Fed Up

[Heartbroken20]

Hey Puppy - He's a Collaborative Law attorney, specializing in reaching a mutually-agreeable settlement with the least amount of fuss and blood-letting. Don't know if he specailizes in representing men, but as a family man himself, he likely has a good idea of where I am coming from, especially when he finds out about the EA which I have THOROUGHLY documented with email, cell phone and text records.

As for my girls, I think they ARE able to understand an affair (13 & 16) and that they DO know it is NOT something married people should do. Obviously, my W and some counselors (mostly divorced themselves) say we shouldn't adress it directly as it would make her look like the "bad guy" and perhaps permanently damage her relationship with her kids. They feel it is an "adult" thing that the kids just don't need to know about. I think that lets her off the hook too much.

I feel we are ALL responsible, and should be held accountable, for our own actions, whatever they are. That doesn't mean bad-mouthing anyone, but it also does NOT mean we should cover for them either. Her EA is not the only reason she wants a D but it is a PRIME reason why she did not fully invest herself in trying to make our subsequent MC sessions work and make an earnest effort to repair the damage.

I plan on emphasizing that this is what SHE wants, it is not what I want, that I feel it is important to try to work through the many problems that come up in ALL marriages, not just escape through affairs or divorce when things go bad, and that I would still be willing to try to stay together IF she is willing to put her best, HONEST effort into it.