Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

Still waiting for the other shoe to fall- yup, that sums up my general feeling. I thinks its gotten worse since there have been a lot more ups and downs, almost daily lately.

I have days where I'm very positive, feel that things will work out eventually...then my doubts creep in and I think I'm kidding myself.

Last night H got mad at me(I would say he had a good point) b/c I wasn't setting a good precedent for D14(I ran to the basement to get her notebook paper instead of making her get it herself). D12 wanted to make cookies for her friends at 8pm and I was too tired and kind of miffed D12 waited til then to ask. So H offered to help D12(which was VERY unusual) so I stayed out of the way...

So we held hands last night, no ML..but it was very nice. This morning H left early as he felt he wasn't needed since the girls didn't need rides to school. Haven't heard from him all day. Left him an upbeat voicemail this afternoon and still no word...kind of weird.

Grace, I think your idea about the holidays is good. D14 wants to hang around the new townhome and completely unpack(she's the only one who hasn't) and make it feel more like home. I'm worried if we all hang out at home we'll get on each others' nerves so I'm trying to think of short daytrips/excursions to do should that happen... The dread is re-living the last Christmas holiday-the lowpoint of my life thus far. Its hard to get past some of those memories but I'm trying.