Hi Laurie, Thank you for looking in! Well Ls aren't handling yet b/c I have just finished filling out the paper work for the L. It has taken so long, I have been doing it on & off for a month. It makes me ill to work on it so I have been avoiding it during this long dark spell by H. Bad I know. But I called L on Monday to let her know I wasn’t sure about all the questions & she just said if she needs something not on there she'll ask me. I don’t think I ever told H the Ls would handle from now on, as he didn't contact me for over a month. Any suggestions you have for how I can put this back on him are appreciated. I know I am not handling this well.
You are right, why am worried about meeting H? I can see I am not yet in control of my feelings. On Sunday, I felt I need to set a boundary about his requests. Here's an update of our email exchange:
From me to him: "When you text or email me that you want to meet the next day, after no communication for a month, I feel disrespected. I am not always able to meet at a the time you want, so more alternatives would be helpful. I appreciate your letting me know about the payment."
From him to me: "I didn't intend to disrespect you. I hadn't contacted you in a month because you last said that you were still interviewing lawyers and I wanted to give you time to find one you were comfortable with. My wanting to talk to you wasn't a demand, just a suggested time. I understand it was short notice and I understand if you're busy. That being said, I think it's time that we sit down and talk this through. Maybe we can get together next Sunday if that works for you. Please let me know."
I really backpedaled on this reply: "OK, sorry, I misunderstood your message. Thanks for explaining. I think Sunday may be OK depending on what time, I will let you know this week. I agree we should figure things out."
Argghhh! What was I thinking! 2 x 4's welcome. Laurie, I keep messing up. What I wanted to convey was that I am not resisting the D but I really don’t want to meet because. 1. I don't trust him 2. It upsets me to see himPlease help me. I really need some good advice.
Re: Confronting about the OW, guess it’s because I have had much anger about what he’s apparently done and hasn't told me (moved etc.) But he hasn’t told me much of anything the past 6 mos. so this is no surprise. Yet our finances are still together. I know we need to separate them now. Remember you asked me once if an A was a deal breaker, & couldn't say. Well based on the evidence I have of his move I feel like it is. I know he's not about to tell me. It just makes me so angry that he thinks I'm too dumb to figure it out or just won't do anything about it. Not a good reason to confront is it? What can I do, except tell him we need to separate the finances now & I am turning my L paperwork & if we need to meet after that my L will contact his. Your input is SO welcome! Thanks Laurie ((((hugs))))
Well Ls aren't handling yet b/c I have just finished filling out the paper work for the L. It has taken so long, I have been doing it on & off for a month. It makes me ill to work on it so I have been avoiding it during this long dark spell by H. Bad I know. 
But I called L on Monday to let her know I wasn’t sure about all the questions & she just said if she needs something not on there she'll ask me. I don’t think I ever told H the Ls would handle from now on, as he didn't contact me for over a month. Any suggestions you have for how I can put this back on him are appreciated. I know I am not handling this well.
What was I thinking! 2 x 4's welcome. Laurie, I keep messing up. What I wanted to convey was that I am not resisting the D but I really don’t want to meet because. 1. I don't trust him 2. It upsets me to see himPlease help me. I really need some good advice.
I know we need to separate them now. Remember you asked me once if an A was a deal breaker, & couldn't say. Well based on the evidence I have of his move I feel like it is. I know he's not about to tell me. It just makes me so angry that he thinks I'm too dumb to figure it out or just won't do anything about it. Not a good reason to confront is it? What can I do, except tell him we need to separate the finances now & I am turning my L paperwork & if we need to meet after that my L will contact his. Your input is SO welcome! 
