WAW and 4 kids

[tryingtilDorR]

I think it was not arguing about OM-related stuff for the most part, and trying ot be positive around her and avoid issues. I just get angry thinking about the fact that the 2 of them still talk to each other even if she has backed off from the level of contact they had before (hours a day on phone). My pride is hurt more than anything since I had asked BOTH of them to stop and some times it eats away at me. There is no reason for them to have contact - they don't work together or have other connections. I some times let it go pretty well, however, but other times it bites me.

However, when you look at the situation overall there really hasn't been progress over the past six months since I busted the EA (but obviously it could be a lot worse now I guess if EA didn't taper off). There are things in her own life that have improved that I see but it hasn't helped the M. There are things in my life that have improved a lot as well, but M is still in limbo to slow deterioration. Even when we seemend to be doing OK it wasn't really much - just less tension but no moves back towards M. I just felt better, however, and it was definitely good for that reason.

I keep thinking about the 'do something different' advice and I know it is true. Maybe her leaving and shaking things up will be a form of 'do something different' that is positive, but I doubt it. It is just a way for her to create more distance and a step towards D. She claims she is doing it to escape the tension at home. I know it will help me to detatch more, although she claims she will be around the house 'a lot' to help with kids and pets (???? not sure about this arrangement ???)

In the end, she may not leave. She has talked about it for months and never did it. she seems pretty serious now. If she does, living away will hit her hard I believe - she loves our kids and it will hurt her not living with them but I am tired of her being around 'just for the kids' although I looked at it as a way for us to R at some point.