Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

The part about the dance was bad now that I read it again

It wasn't meant to be. I just thought the push I needed to get on the dance floor (and I want the push) would come from her. I also didn't understand why she gave a s**t if she was with her new man. That is analysing I suppose.

My time at the dance is based on whether she is there or not. That is not right. I think it just threw me a bit that she was going to be there with the OM - at least I assume it will be with him as who else would she be there with and not want to go!

She was also asking what to get my D for Xmas. I forgot to add that earlier.

Anyway, to be honest, when she is here I get all sorts of emotions that I try to mostly push down into myself. When she leaves some of them come out in the wrong way. In future, when I post anything I will leave it until the next day.

She is here again on Saturday afternoon.

I do promise I had no expectations about tonight though. For me, it was about being upbeat, understanding and hopefully building on something.

P.S. The separation agreement is about protecting me financially.