Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

I think she probably cares for you, and wants to know that you'll "be okay" with everything, as she knew (I'm guessing?) that you would have received the papers today?

The papers came from me. I told my lawyer to send them to her so I'm perfectly happy. I got a copy of them so I knew what was in them - she got the originals.

The papers are also just a separation agreement, not the Big D. The separation agreement as I have is says that in the event of a Big D, she keeps her stuff and I keep all of mine. It also says we are now legally living apart. We are still very much married and only I can file for D at this stage, not her. It will be two years before she can file for a D.

Oh, and "P.S." -- you can claim all you want to the contrary, but I DO think you're reading a LOT into it still! Your whole post still reeks of expectation and mind-reading, dude.

Sorry -- I know you're trying. And GOOD JOB on keeping things upbeat. It's just that if WE can feel the expectation here, in your posts, I can almost guarantee that your wife feels it in her interactions with you.

Then that has gone past me as I really didn't have any expectations at all.

The only part I can think of was the dance and that was never mentioned to her at all, just in my head and to a friend. And it was all done while I was away, not before, so she didn't get it from me.

The other part about the wedding photo was me just saying it here. I didn't mention it to her. That is what *I* am doing. That's not for her. It's for me. She will see it in my house but I can't do much about that.

Finally, when I said to her she could text and phone me, that, I agree, was maybe too much. I shouldn't have done that for several reasons, one of which is it sounds like I am trying to suck her into contact. That maybe sounded needy. What I was trying to do was tell her that she can contact me about my D and I will talk to her. She hasn't done that yet and maybe it's because she won't open herself up because I may take D away and she will be rejected.

I can truly put my hand on my heart and say there was absolutely no expectation on my part for tonight. I just wanted it to go well so that we can build on it. It did go well. I was glad but I have no expectations of anything. I was just trying to report it here.

Mind reading. Absolutely not either. The only bit I did start to mind read was the part where she was unhappy. I quickly realised I was analysing it and stopped. She could be unhappy for a billion reasons (including her car having problems as it was tonight). Again I was just seeing it and reporting it. I hope it is with the OM, but it really doesn't matter as it doesn't affect me. If he goes, he goes. If he stays, he stays. If they have babies, they have babies. My life will continue regardless.

"normalizing" - I will go and look at the DR / DB book for that. I can kind of guess what it means though.