Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

I thought I would try and just update this while it was fresh in my head. I will try and make it not too long a post (edit - I failed at that).

W was here, as I said and babysat for me until 9pm. She came in and we were laughing and joking a little. She couldn't wait to tell me a few things that 'you'll get a laugh at this' and it really felt a little like old times. So much so I quickly relaxed!

She sang a little bit. Sat right next to the fire (I have a coal fire here) like she used to do. Was chatting away with my daughter and seemed really happy. She even asked if I would show her some of my dance moves (see later - I was off to my dance class tonight).

I asked my W to come into the kitchen for a quick chat as my D was unhappy earlier and crying as she missed my W. I asked her to maybe speak to her later on and she said she would. She told me later my D didn't say anything to her.

I also told her that next week I am off to a dance in the next town to show off my new moves. She said 'oh, I was going to go to that as I missed it when it was here. It's okay thought I won't go.' I assume it was with the OM. I told her just to go anyway but I think it's 50/50 she will. Saying she didn't want to go when she found I was going kind of made me think she knew it was inappropriate for the OM to be there too with me there - not sure. Also not sure if that is a good or bad thing as if she didn't give a stuff, why would she care (in fact it may be a good time for her to rub my face in it).

However I would actually like her to go with the OM. If she does, I will make sure I dance my a$$ off all night. We never danced as a couple (my fault) and before we split we agreed to go to this dance class together. I want to show her I am enjoying myself, having a great time and also can now (sort of) dance as she loves to dance. I'm not sure at this stage how I will feel about the OM being there. However the number 1 reason I want them to go is it will be the huge push I will need to get up on that dance floor and show off my moves. I'm apprehensive as I'm not great at it. That is me using her being there. If I sit there and do nothing, she knows I haven't changed.

I left and they both said goodbye. I came back about an hour and 3/4 later.

My W was sitting on my D's bed reading her stories when I came in and they were laughing and joking.

Kissed my D goodnight and my W actually sat downstairs with me for about 10 minutes before leaving! We had a chat about this and that and it was quite nice. Again, no expectations and reading nothing into it. It was two people who knew each other chatting. There was no spark there, no love but more importantly no tension.

The best part of the interaction for me was that there was no stress from either of us, no hassle, no talk of the R, Big D or anything else. She mentioned that she received the letter from my lawyer about our separation agreement today and I just said that I got a copy in the post today too. That was it.

From my POV it was actually quite nice.

Finally she couldn't fail to have see the wedding photo (unless she is blind) back up and would probably have noticed my wedding ring. I also changed, cleaned and put fresh flowers in the kitchen and living room She actually said the kitchen looked nice which was a good compliment!

I said to her as she left that she can text or call me to ask about my D any time. I said I was trying to keep her updated but she could always ask me.

The only times I saw her not happy was when she came in and when she left. Not sure if that was because she was with me on my own, but I actually don't think that was as she spent time with me on her own and she was fine. I don't think it's not because she is unhappy with OM so not sure what it was. Not reading ANYTHING into that at all, just an observation and I could be honest be completely off base.

Comments?