Do we sometimes give mixed messages on this board? Yesterday, W had a terrible day at work and she called me. I did what Dottie (DB counselor) would want me to do, listen, validate her feelings, not fix things.
I felt very good afterward.
But I've also seen the message that I should be more unavailable to her. Only talk to W about kid stuff because she has to realize what D is like and that's no more support from me other than the kids.
So what to do?
Not every situation is the same. What may work for one couple may not for the another.
If one of the problems in the R was that you were emotionally unavailable to her, then going dark and limiting contact may not be the best solution.
Ultimately, you'll be the best judge. If talking to her and being there for her is helping things get better, keep doing it. If it's not, then stop.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
