Shiny, I think you're gonna have to start getting up earlier to keep up with all the action going on around here!!

The thing about CJ's meeting was a great display of patience. It got me thinking ... the importance of letting others share when they want to, rather than pushing them to do so on our timeline is such a subtle one that most seem to overlook what a huge potential there is for it to be the source of a wedge that is driven between us.

I now can see where this was a point where I did some major damage between CAW and me. A lot of times if CAW was silent, I would start asking question after question ... so what did the doctor say during your appointment? ... who were you talking to on the phone? ... what did they want?

I thought is was innocent enough, but she started to feel like she was being drilled and came to resent it. When I could tell something was bothering her, I'd ask some more. She would just reply "Nothing.", but I wouldn't let it go and keep at it because I just wanted to help.

This was a pattern where I thought I was trying to help but it was causing her to shut me out even more, which frustrated me even more and I got angery ... what a death spiral that was ... I was never patient enough to let her tell me when she was ready to. While I have 180ied this for the last year, I believe I've done so much damage that she still will remain shutdown to sharing her personal thoughts for a very long time.

Sorry Shiny, didn't mean to take up so much space on your thread. I also didn't appropriately thank you for your imput on my thread the other day , so I just wanted to say here ... Thank You for your insight ... it really helped me alot!!

'til later,
KAW