Spouse Suffering From Depression

[Lucky11too]

I read DR in September, but I think I need to read it again with these ideas in mind. Thanks for getting me refocused again.

My biggest enemy right now against me is time (in regard to the # of hours in a day). I work full time, get home by 6ish, get every body fed, play a little, put S to bed, get everything ready for the next day and then it's already bedtime (yes, I know kind of sad. My bed time is 9-9:30, but I'm sooo exhausted from work/S). So, I'm defintiely having problems GALing, but I try to just fit in small things as I can. And I defintiely don't get to do as much reading as I would like to do - I have so many books on my reading list now!

But going back to the LRT. This is a necessity now. I cannot let myself fall back! I'll have my mind set and then he'll do something & I just melt right back. Need to be strong this time and give the technique a chance to work. I keep having this nagging voice saying, by LTRing, you're pushing him away, but I'm learning to squash that voice and remind myself that he already is gone (so really, how much worse could it get) and that I can't control him. Thanks Awest for taking the time to write that all out. My rational mind gets all this but I just have to keep my emotional side under control so that I don't revert back again...

So an update, H is a little lucky that he can go see our S without seeing me (not sure if that's a help or hinder with LRT) since my MIL watches him while I'm at work (she's great though!) He normally over goes over twice a week for maybe 2 or 3 hours. I guess he was over there yesterday and my MIL said he was all moody still. He started to complain to her about me going out "without him" on Saturday and she just straight up told him, "It's about time! I'm surprised she didn't do it earlier. What do you think she's going to do - wait around for you forever?" Ha! Love my MIL. I think she definitely helps my cause. =P

Well today will be a good test to see if anything is starting to work with the LRT (I know it's only been a few days). Wednesday is his only day off, so it'll be interesting if I hear from him at all (I am not expecting to though). When we first separated, he used to wait around on Wednesdays to see me when I picked up S. I hope to get back to that again, but I know we'll have to go thru some baby steps first.