She spoke to the kids briefly then said to the kids to get ready while I speak to your dad. I could tell all ready that she wanted to speak. She asked about my parents, She asked about my youngest Brother, She asked about my other Brother, She asked about my female friend, She asked about my work, in fact she asked about everything about me. I responded to each question briefly - not too chatty - I wanted her to do all the talking. She spoke about her college work. Finally she told me that our youngest son was very upset each night about staying at her brothers. I gave the usual 'That must be difficult for you,' etc type noises.
I was not about to offer any comments. And that was it.
She said she would be here Thursday evening for the fireworks, and commented that I looked tired, (well I am on the night shift).
But when she went to hug me I just gave her the most feeble one armed hug you could give - my arm barely touched her elbow. She did notice and looked at my other arm to see where it was.
I may not give any contact tomorrow if I bother to hug her.
So far, compassion and listening have produced the best emotive response. So what I decided when she came in was to respond as little as possible and go a little bit darker. She responded by filling in the silent areas of conversation, and never seemed to stop talking - but w/o saying anything. I got the feeling that she wanted some communication between us. I did not want any R talk. I need to get back some control over my actions and emotions.
But I have noticed that of any request I have made,ie kids clothes, Wii remotes, picking the kids up, me taking the kids when I want to, responding to texts and phone calls to name but a few. She has ALWAYS gone out of her way to do as I ask, on my terms.
Is this b/c she knows that she walked out and she owes me and the boys? What would this point to ? Guilt?
Does it matter?
Regards, Gyn.
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
