W wants D, does it look bad if I file for D?

[Laurie]

Bknheart,
Crossroads makes an important point:
- This painful situation you are experiencing may already seem like an eternity, but relationships take a while to get to a crisis and they take a while to heal and rebuild from a crisis. You have been in this situation a very short time. If you have it within you to be patient, you will discover that you will get stronger and more objective as time continues - then you will be able to make much wiser R decisions - ones you will not regret.

You make an important point as well:
- "I don't want her...saying I gave up, I wanted the D". You are right - it does make a difference if you initiate the D process. Do not take this step quickly (if your goal is to save the M). Filing is a risky thing to do for many reasons. As you stated, your W can claim you gave up. For another, it most likely will push the D process much faster and with more certainty than you may want at this point.

I want you to do all you can to save this M, so I encourage you to slow down making any decisions that could actually speed up a D, OK?