You got it.. I think that is part of the problem these women are having. They WANT to understand all this talk of chase, and challenge and interest, but can't accept the fact that they may NEVER actually understand. Not understanding doesn't make it any less true.
I would hope that they quit trying to understand and just accept it.
For example. I can try and try to understand why my wife thinks her way about things important to her and I can try for the rest of my life to keep understanding those things. I may never understand. HOWEVER, not understanding has nothing to do with how I should treat her. I just accept that I don't understand and as a matter of fact I don't HAVE to understand her in all ways. I just have to know what the reality tells me. Then just go with the reality...
I mean.. Why does my wife love me? Why does she think I am all that? How can she talk to her girlfriends for hours at a time and never be at a loss for words or something to talk about?
She could very well say the same things about me.
It isn't about understanding. It is about ACCEPTING the reality. The reality is that these men have not responded to years of hanging in there. The reality is that these women are so absorbed in trying to get these men back that they are still talking "baby step".. I could have walked all the way from New York to California taking baby steps in less time.
They can hate the OW and yet can't see that their WS are no better than the OW. They need to start placing the blame where it should go.. Right square in the lap of the man blatantly having an affair and acting like it is no big deal. All the while these poor women are reduced to what we are seeing on here. These men have helped these women to lose all bearings on self esteem and what they are in REALITY putting up with.
