Narcissists dont "wonder" because they dont care. They care when it becomes an inconvenience for them. Im guessing his biggest concerns will be who will iron his shirts and make dinner.
Helping out how? Please elaborate. Does he help with laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc.? What does he do after? Does he look for validation or appreciation? Just trying to get a better picture of the dynamic.
He does the bill paying if it's electronic (if he needs a check written he fills out the info then I write the check and drop it in the mail), he picks up groceries sometimes if he's running low on salad fixings (he's the one who eats them frequently), we split loading/unloading the dishwasher, and he mows the lawn since S18 left for school (he says he doesn't trust me not to hurt myself since our backyard is rather sloped). Otherwise, I do the laundry, cook meals and wash dishes, do the mending, clean bathrooms and the kitchen, mop and vacuum floors, the majority of the grocery shopping, de-cluttering, chauffeur children and run the snow-blower during the winter (although he did start helping with that again last year. I'm the one who parks outside (and walks in high heels and dresses to work and we live in the Cleveland snow belt- sorry, that's a gripe) and he gets the garage, so he wasn't too concerned about keeping the driveway clear.) It's a pretty typical division.
Billpaying Mr. SB pushes "click" to pay a bill Mrs. SB Gets the envelope, writes check, addresses, stamps, mails envelope
Grocery shopping Mr. SB- picks up a few things when he needs something Mrs. SB- plans meals, buys food the rest of the time that the meal does not involve salads
Lawn Mr. SB- mows yard 1x/week for the past summer = 16-20x Mrs. SB- ???
Dishwasher Mr. SB = Mrs. SB
Laundry Mr. SB =0 Mrs. SB= all
Meal preparation Mr. SB =0 Mrs. SB= all
Wash dishes not in dishwasher Mr. SB =0 Mrs. SB= all
Housecleaning-vacuuming, dusting, mopping, bathrooms, de-cluttering Mr. SB =0 Mrs. SB= all
Originally Posted By: spybunny
It's a pretty typical division
uh-huh... typical for what?
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
My thoughts exactly. He's been living like a king. No wonder he doesnt want anything to change.
Boy is he going to get a wake up call. After a months of frozen pizza's and carry out he will be crying at your doorstep.
You are going to have to be super STRONG in order to not be manipulated with his GUILT again. Seriously. It will be imperative for you to break all contact and go dark. He will do anything to get you back or will immediantly find someone else to be his mommy.
The first couple weeks will be CRITICAL for you to SET BOUNDARIES that he will HAVE to RESPECT. You cant falter or he will not RESPECT you. He hasnt for so long. Why start now? You can do this. Stay strong. We are here for you.
Billpaying Mr. SB pushes "click" to pay a bill Mrs. SB Gets the envelope, writes check, addresses, stamps, mails envelope
Grocery shopping Mr. SB- picks up a few things when he needs something Mrs. SB- plans meals, buys food the rest of the time that the meal does not involve salads
Lawn Mr. SB- mows yard 1x/week for the past summer = 16-20x Mrs. SB- ???
Dishwasher Mr. SB = Mrs. SB
Laundry Mr. SB =0 Mrs. SB= all
Meal preparation Mr. SB =0 Mrs. SB= all
Wash dishes not in dishwasher Mr. SB =0 Mrs. SB= all
Housecleaning-vacuuming, dusting, mopping, bathrooms, de-cluttering Mr. SB =0 Mrs. SB= all
Originally Posted By: spybunny
It's a pretty typical division
uh-huh... typical for what?
You forgot some Bridge -
Quote:
chauffeur children and run the snow-blower during the winter (although he did start helping with that again last year. I'm the one who parks outside
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
