Makes sense to a man. Here are your orders, you got all your resources in hand, when you arrive on the scene you will gather intel and execute the mission.
Me thinks she wanted to know how you were going to do it before you did it. Some people are information seekers it provides comfort. I am sure you ran into guys like this in the Army, can't make a decision because they think they might make the wrong move so they need more intel, meanhwile the situation has changed. When there are too many variables at play it stresses them and they want to defer the decision to someone else. Like she wanted you to lead but be informed along the way. Doesn't excuse her poor reaction. That reaction had nothing to do with the positive outcome. It's one of those female tests that perplex us.
Plus the dynamic of a control freak made her look like a worrier to you. So to balance it out you were probably easy-going and laid-back.
That's not an environment that anyone could live in & succeed. You would always be worried about doing the wrong thing. At one point a person has to rationalize with themselves
"Do I live like this forever? Do I always have to be afraid that my every action is going to meeting disapproval and a poor response? Is this a fun way to live? "
No one can live like that. SP she asked you to do something and you did it, to boot you saved 15% per kid, the camp thing is something she asked you to go & do, you asked for a few details up front and she said "whatever", you know that word gets used alot, it has a few different meanings like "f!@#$% you", "I don't give a f!@#$%", "I don't care as long as I'm not the one taking care of the details".
When she told you that she couldn't count on you and that you never doing anything right and all that other stuff, I would have told her "STOP! You asked me to take care of this and I did it. You didn't ask me to find out more about this and get back to you. You're way out of line and I'm not going to stand here and listen to you talk to me so poorly, next time here's a suggestion from me to you, don't say 'whatever?!' if this is actually going to bother you afterwards. Buh Bye!"
Turn your back & leave, I don't care if she had a million things to say to you about this, she needed to realize that you won't be spoken to like that anymore. She is used to talking to you like that, that's a pattern of behavior that she's probably been repeating for years and the pattern you repeated was that you stood there & took it. You may not be able to change how she acts but you can certainly change how you act. Don't ever give her the benefit of acting & talking like that with you - life is too short to be treated poorly by someone who you hoped would do the opposite.
