Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

True true. Now I woke up today in anger, impatience, stress, aggravated...etc. I think I'm getting to the end of my rope. I can't handle this anymore. He came by this morning to drop something off for me and the whole time he is flirting away, he cornered me in the kitchen was about 2 inches from my face joking around teasing me. I am not the only one who thinks this, as I had a friend here at the same time and she totally agrees that he flirted with me the whole time! She said she would go crazy if she were me, especially when he got so close to me in the kitchen.

So how is that detaching thing coming?

...yeah, that's what I thought.

What happened to that boundary you were going to set?

Tell him "I feel like this is too confusing for me and the kids to have you being so affectionate when we're not living together. Until you make up your mind what you plan to do, I'd appreciate if you stopped that." No lovemaking, no kissing, no PDAs. He is fence-sitting and you are letting him.

Ugh. I am just getting to the point where I need to sit down and talk to him. Like are you acting this way because you are coming around slowly? Or are you just wanting to be my best friend. Cause that ain't gonna happen. I can't be your best friend. Not right now anyway.

Don't ask him, because you won't get a useful answer.

Its like the past week and a half I have seen him every single day for some reason. Plus one sleepover! Ahh! I'm losing my mind. I just don't know how long I can sit here and wait for him to come around. I know its only been 5 weeks, but still.

Them maybe it is the time to have the R talk.

Tell him that there is obviously some kind of relationship between you two still, and that you are willing to work on it if he is. But right now, he is fence-sitting (or cake-eating, your choice) and that it's unfair to you and the kids. Tell him that if he doesn't make a choice soon, you will.

All my 180's, my GAL'ing seem to work one minute, but then nothing happens? Obviously we've come a far way in 5 weeks. But he's not home and that's where I want to be. I'm just getting impatient. I just want to talk to him soooo bad.

Yes, you are getting impatient. Remember robx's post? "Slow is fast and fast is slow".

You've been saying the same thing almost every day because you still haven't detached from him.

You still spend too much time analyzing his every word and move, even after we've told you that there's no point in doing it.

You let him have too much control over your life -- he comes and goes as he pleases, sleeps over whenever he wants, and you still make plans with him.

If you want to go to the party for yourself, really go for yourself. Dress yourself up. Take a separate vehicle to get there. Spend time with the people you want to be around, and ignore him if possible. Leave when you want to go home.

If people ask you what the deal is with him, change the subject.