Bloody football or soccer is the top choice every time. Rugby is for men with odd shaped balls....
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
I thought boundries were steeped in anger and aggression. It turns out that I started to set boundaries like this on Saturday-like the delay in phone calls and texts and picking up the kids late.
Must read this thread later.
Ta. Gyn
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
1) "We are going to the fireworks on XDAY. You are welcome to join us, but I will understand if you chose not to join us"
2) Treat her like a cat, if she comes around great, if not great. This would be hurtful to my boys. This is not what they want. I must protect them from this. To do this I must try to offer the hand to my WAW to join us. Even if I must turn the other cheek......
Read up on "The Victim Triangle". Nurture YOUR relationships. WAW is in control of her relationship with her children (NOT YOU). YES as parents, we do not want our children to be hurt by our significant others.
Offering is perfectly acceptable.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Do I sit idlely (?) by and let it go on its merry course,while I try to be the best father I can be whilst trying to rebuild myself. How should I interact with her while this is going on? Short and cold w/o any compassion. Or like a next door neighbour. Or project an PMA, and try to lie my way through it all with her?
You never sit idlely. period. unattractive.
but with your relationship dilemma. since this affair has been going on for 12 months you have lost the opportunity to get it over with quickly.
How do you act? you don't act. you project. My life is great. this is actually the best thing that ever happened to me. wow. did that slap to the face wake me up. i never realized that there are that many single attractive woman interested in a man with two kids. I am free and having the time of my life. oh btw is sicko incapacitatated again. lol that must scuk. you should get him some of this soup i just had the other day at xxx resturaunt it was great.
some cell phones have text reminder, have that go off while interacting with her and say hey gotta go. no need to lie, go out and have a good time. think if you do reconcile you aint getting this chance again.
In the inital description it should mean; Waw depressed for 12 months. Known EA for 9 Months, Became an EA about 4 months ago.
WAW said to me 6 months ago - 'If you don't feel ok with me seeing the EA, I will stop seeing him'. Difficult b/c they were on the same course, AND I TRUSTED HER !
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
How do you act? you don't act. you project. My life is great. this is actually the best thing that ever happened to me. wow. did that slap to the face wake me up. i never realized that there are that many single attractive woman interested in a man with two kids. I am free and having the time of my life. oh btw is sicko incapacitatated again. lol that must scuk. you should get him some of this soup i just had the other day at xxx resturaunt it was great.
This the type of advice I have been looking for. Excellent.
This is where I have been trying to get to with my PMA - but failed so far -but some things have improved.
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
Projection is VERY IMPORTANT! Happy, Confident, Sexy. Practice doing this all the time! Fake it till you make it. I am happy confident and sexy. I did my homework in these areas. I am constantly changing myself to become happier and sexier. I test out my "sexiness" on woman all the time. I flirt with all the woman I meet.
Use your mind to trick your body. Just by thinking about happy events in your life will change your body language.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
She spoke to the kids briefly then said to the kids to get ready while I speak to your dad. I could tell all ready that she wanted to speak. She asked about my parents, She asked about my youngest Brother, She asked about my other Brother, She asked about my female friend, She asked about my work, in fact she asked about everything about me. I responded to each question briefly - not too chatty - I wanted her to do all the talking. She spoke about her college work. Finally she told me that our youngest son was very upset each night about staying at her brothers. I gave the usual 'That must be difficult for you,' etc type noises.
I was not about to offer any comments. And that was it.
She said she would be here Thursday evening for the fireworks, and commented that I looked tired, (well I am on the night shift).
But when she went to hug me I just gave her the most feeble one armed hug you could give - my arm barely touched her elbow. She did notice and looked at my other arm to see where it was.
I may not give any contact tomorrow if I bother to hug her.
So far, compassion and listening have produced the best emotive response. So what I decided when she came in was to respond as little as possible and go a little bit darker. She responded by filling in the silent areas of conversation, and never seemed to stop talking - but w/o saying anything. I got the feeling that she wanted some communication between us. I did not want any R talk. I need to get back some control over my actions and emotions.
But I have noticed that of any request I have made,ie kids clothes, Wii remotes, picking the kids up, me taking the kids when I want to, responding to texts and phone calls to name but a few. She has ALWAYS gone out of her way to do as I ask, on my terms.
Is this b/c she knows that she walked out and she owes me and the boys? What would this point to ? Guilt?
Does it matter?
Regards, Gyn.
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
