"Home Improvements"

[sage]

SOOOO...this is something I have a few goals around...

In my sitch...I've come to think of this as an area where h and I lapsed into some polarized roles...I really don't see it as much different than many of the other struggles that we've had ...

In my sitch it (might! ASSumption here!) come down to..

I thought I was 2 or 3 steps ahead of h (in terms of energy, desire, etc)

He felt controlled

He felt "well, what I'm doing isn't good enough so why bother?"

etc.

Kind of the same dynamic as well, housework, but with all the emotional and physical and societal stuff piled on top of it.

I don't have any terrific answers...still working on this myself but my game plan includes:

1. let go of the need to be in control of this (frequency, etc)

2. Appreciate all that h does give (for example, shiny, cuddling sounds AWESOME! Does CJ know how much you appreciate that time he spent with you?)

3. etc

Not sure this makes too much sense!

Sage