Boundaries: So far our discussions were limited and sidetracked to the past. I want to talk about the future and present. -Email passwords -free access to mobile -talk with her (or email) -start routines that create positive memories feelings but -specifics based on our schedules like : going out Friday nights, -going alone just the 2 of us for coffee Sat mornings -Arrange to have a babysitter option for Sat nights -read together parts of books that will help us understand each other -one hour per week to discuss the past (more would be too much for me) -consciously hug/kiss/ be tender to each other -explain the need for verbal reassurance I have -set a plan about when H should move back in -discuss how to handle people that knew (my parents are again VERY accepting with him, no hostility, no questions asked) -talk to the kids
I asked him to LEAD where this R is going. Have a goal and do what it takes.
I am not sure he would accept all these. But I am willing to listen and understand and explain.
I think sex will be a sticky point between us. I have this idea he thinks I cant become a lover to him, just his...wife. And I got to tell you, I feel more sexually mature right now than ever and that possibility of a dead sex life is a no no for me.
He doesnt even give me "looks". Makes me feel like his ...granny. K
