Originally Posted By: Gynandtonix Are you advising that I hold my tongue for the moment I believe it is best to feel the feelings in the moment, understand what they are, and delay your response. OK.
Quote: My emotions are high at the moment and I feel I would aggressively show my anger. Ask yourself, would this make the R better or worse? No brainer...... thanks
Quote: Should I tell her how angry I am? Will this make the R better or worse? If your intention is to draw W back, I don't think this is the time to express your anger. Right now is the time to be compassionate. The problem is that there is conflicting advice on this. I am more drawn to the compassionate approach.
Quote: Should I invite her for the fireworks - or let her invite herself. You are in the "REDUCING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS" phase. Next phase is "DEVELOPING FRIENDSHIP"
Two choices:
1) "We are going to the fireworks on XDAY. You are welcome to join us, but I will understand if you chose not to join us"
2) Treat her like a cat, if she comes around great, if not great. This would be hurtful to my boys. This is not what they want. I must protect them from this. To do this I must try to offer the hand to my WAW to join us. Even if I must turn the other cheek......
Quote: Am I right in stopping ALL physical contact? Is this is a boundary you have put in place to protect yourself from getting hurt? Is it done in retaliation? No and Yes. I feel that the hugs are a bit of 'cheeseless tunneling' at the moment. I am not sure if doing a 180 in this would help - but I have to find the cheese.
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
