Heartbroken, you said: "She says she wants to work together using Collaborative Law, which is based on good faith and trust, but I just KNOW she is going to lie to her lawyer about who-knows-what and I am unsure of what exactly to do about it."
I just wanted to chime in here...I used to work for a collaborative law attorney...just so you understand, neither attorney is going to care about something like this (the who-knows-what issue). This is just something that you and she need to work out between you. It won't really matter to the D process. I just want to point this out because, many people get caught up in the idea that because they are in the moral "right" on a certain issue, that somehow the divorce process will ferret this out and bring them vindication.
Yes, collaborative law is based on truth and trust, but this type of truth (the lying about who-know-what) is not a legal matter, therefore, it will not be of any consequence to your case.
I know that hurts, and you really just hurt that she would lie to you like this...but someday you will get used to this hurt and realize it isn't that big of a deal in the big picture. I don't mean to minimize what you are hurt about, but the reality is that many other things are going to hurt you much more in this process than the little lies she may be telling about this type of thing.
If you talk to you attorney about this lying issue, its going to cost you about $300 per hour to do so. Sure, they will listen with empathy, and they may bring it up in a collaborative meeting (with all parties present) but again...is it worth $300 per hour just to get to see her face when she is called out on a lie like this?
I am really just trying to help you here. What most people need during divorce proceedings is a divorce coach or a good counselor who has done many divorcees. That is where it is appropriate (and cost effective) to bring up your hurt and disappointment that she is lying to you.
If she is lying about property owned, money held, stocks, custody issues (serious ones), then of course the attorneys need to be involved and they will step in and voice their legal opinions. So rest assured that lies that would effect either of you financially will be ferretted out.
